‘Living a Long Life Well’

Revd. Rob Merchant

Ageing is not an exclusive experience determined by chronological age, but something we all face from birth to death. We respond either with denial, or with recognition of the reality of age and mortality. The church can be an embarrassingly ageist friend.

The demographic revolution is altering social and democratic structures. An era of acute disease has given way to one of chronic disease. Never before in human history have so many people lived for so long. Many products are available to deal with the fact of growing older - reduce, prevent, delay, enhance! People want to survive; to add years to life but also to add life to years. However, most people do not experience successful ageing.

Evolutionary science tells us about the process, but not whether ageing is a good or bad thing, nor how we should live our own old age and/or treat others who are old. These questions are often neglected. “Old is anything that I am not.” Fear leads to ambivalence; the young dread ageing, and the old envy youth. But the Christian pilgrimage is a journey of transformation. The ageing face in the mirror displays the glory of God; it is part of our pilgrimage home, to be with Him for all eternity.

Attitudes to life and death are changing. In the debate over assisted dying, people are no longer asking “Is it right or wrong?”, but rather “When is it right?” As Christians we value life, but can also reject medical interventions that prolong life beyond that which is bearable for the person; we can pray to a divine, separate Other that death may be hastened. Society fails to teach that the wheel of life one day turns full circle, that age is not an experience we can decline. Real care happens when we are no longer separated by walls of fear, but have found each other on the common ground of the human condition, which is mortal but therefore very precious. Naomi and Ruth’s story illustrates this.

Seeking to live a long life well means asking what fruit am I producing, what will benefit the lives of others? Listen to the words we use to others; they reveal the true condition of our hearts. Think of full age not old age - a life both transformed and transforming of those around us. Consider our own journey in the light of the great journey from creation to the cross.

Rob responded fully to questions ranging from experiential training, to financial provision and retirement, to the need for having empathy, compassion and time to learn of one another, to hear each other’s stories. Our pilgrimage is a journey of life with glimpses of heaven; we are journeying home - that is enough.

This is only a flavour of all that Rob shared with us from his research, wide reading and experience as gerontologist and priest. Do get the recording and enjoy the profound thinking and personal examples behind these recollections!

Helen M Nixon